2001

Tuesday, October 30th, 2001

I need your help again.

I found a doctor who will attempt to understand my condition. This was after I saw a local neurologist who explained to me that if I believe I have a rare disease, I cannot see a local community doctor but rather must go to a major research institution. At this time, I have decided to withhold the name of the institute I telephoned.

If one listened to the 10 am radio news yesterday, and learned of the air fare rates to England and the conditions of 14-day-advance booking for discounts available from December 3rd until March of 2002, one will fully understand William's game plan. He has arranged that the institute will not return my phone calls until after I book the flight to England for Christmas. My guess is that the Christmas present he expects is the designer-proof wedding dress. Or, in simpler terms, he will only let me die after he has this in his possession.

The help I need from you is to telephone the White House and explain to President Georgie-Pooh that we are no longer colonies to the British Monarchy. He was absent that day of class in fourth grade. I also need a restraining order effective at least until treatment is finished.

Under the Administration of President Billy, the Constitution was deemed inapplicable to issues of male impotence. Under George-Pooh, it is issues of fashion which take precedence.

As William continues to insist that there is no infection, but rather I am suffering from obesity which he finds embarrassing to his public image, and if one considers the fact that his diagnosis was contemporaneous with the issuance of the Nobel Peace Prize to his good friend, then one must infer that the United Nations World Health Organization has ascertained the nature of the substance situated in my brain and I am being lied to.

I cannot understand why Geogie-Pooh is advocating this behavior. I am the only living specimen for research. We must know what this is and invent a cure which we can all carry on us as conveniently as we carry the Aerobic 0-7.

I need to also tell you that I have added a few items to the list above of the herbal/vitamin/amino acid/enzymatic assembly of pills I used to permanently reduce a small amount of the abdominal swelling. I forgot these the last time I worked on this web-site and apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. I also eliminated a few typographical errors as I always do a few days after I work on this. For some reason, proof-reading on the screen and on the print-out are two different processes for me.

I should also have told you that the fabric remnants which William is so-obsessed with were $3/yard and that I also bought four red 3/4-yard pieces, one 3/4-yard deep-red, one 3/4-yard pink, and two navy pieces which totaled 2 5/8 yards. For some reason, it is only the periwinkle blue he is obsessed with.

And I should have mentioned that there was no nudity in the photographs I gave to Andrew. I wore black thongs, a bra, garter belt, sheer hosiery, and shoes which were all not made by me. Andrew referred to it as the "outfit and the shoes." The shoes were the accessory which captivated him.

Thank you again in advance for all of your help.

Thursday, November 01, 2001

I am grateful for all of your telephone calls but regret to inform you that no progress has been made. They are not releasing the information of the nature of this substance, nor is the institute returning my telephone calls.

The phone calls to the White House came from all over the world, including one from an old friend in Germany. At the time we met there over a decade ago we shared the song, "Don't worry, be happy." He modified it by eliminating the "Don't". My mother liked him very much.

At the time I first requested an investigation by the World Health Organization, a member of the British Government responded by answering that the real issue was that I was pregnant. And then, as you already know, copies of my letter leaked to the office which I believed required the investigation, located at Heathrow Airport in London.

I told WHO that I intended to sue this individual for slander, and pursue a criminal prosecution for obstruction of justice. However, I quickly realized that my letter had thunderbolted throughout the United Nations within a few hours after its arrival, and that my story made too much sense for them to consider any such remarks about me. I do not know why it generated such responsiveness, but I have theorized that there are other victims and/or their relatives in that building.

Thursday, November 08th, 2001

I heard the news that China has economically allied with a few other southeastern-Asian nations to offset the economic affects our protest is having. I also heard the news that OPEC will be meeting soon to consider reduction of production for the result of price increases. This will likely result in financially offsetting their peace offering of lower gas prices at the pump.

We are aquatic apes and we have answers for everything.

One week ago, I bought a few much needed winter nightgowns not made in China but rather an Indonesian nation. Then I heard the news from China, but did not receive the information of the list of participating nations. My intention has been to research if this nation is on the list. But I have decided I do not want to work so-hard.

As the Christmas season approaches, I am demanding of all countries and corporations to earn the right to receive our business. They must help us take steps forward in our fight against terrorism and for human rights, or we will take our consumer dollars elsewhere.

As for William, I predict he will soon be calling me greedy because I want to keep the money I earn rather then spend it on a trip to England for a guaranteed extravagant and merry Christmas.

*********

My condition has made some improvements. Credit for that must be directed toward my chiropractors. I am currently working with a partnership. And as you already know, another chiropractor originally took care of me. I must also tell you that until I met the first one, I never believed in this field of medicine.

When I first began at the vitamin store in July of this year, a chiropractor visited us one evening to solicit customers. We were not busy at the time. I decided it couldn't hurt to talk to her.

What she said made too much sense. According to her, nerves travel from the brain, through the vertebrae, and to their destination points. Gases and fluids can accumulate in the spinal column thereby scrambling the message. She also explained to me that anything which she could not correct, is brain damage.

I went in for my first session, and she determined which vertebrae needed correction. We looked at a diagram on the wall, which she cautioned was over-simplified, and learned that one of the vertebras was next to that which houses the diaphragm nerve. I had not yet told her about the x-ray which showed my stomach out-of-position and that the medical explanation for this was a weak diaphragm.

I also never told her, nor my current chiropractors, about two other health problems.

For twenty years I have had insomnia such that I sleep for a few hours, then wake-up, and struggle to return to sleep.

The other health problem is that for the past few months, I have been very harshly critical of myself in that when I drive backwards, I do not twist my neck as extensively as I would like to properly scan the region behind me. Additionally, when walking down a sidewalk approaching a driveway, I did not always move my neck to check for oncoming cars. I thought this was either weakness or emotional.

Recently, after many chiropractic sessions, I suddenly find myself sleeping peacefully through the night. I also have much nicer dreams. Additionally, I am driving and walking while meeting my safety standards.

As I am growing weaker, I am delighted that my work hours were cut-back for corporate reasons. However, I also find myself becoming physically stronger in that I can move objects I could not for the past year.

As I told you on October 23rd, I am experiencing a condition in which long-forgotten memories of every facet of my life are re-surfacing. At the time I wrote it, I suspected it was because I was dying. I now have another theory that it might be the fact that I changed the memory-boosting herb I use. I used to take Ginko biloba, but because I am trying to use all of the bottles I have in the house from all of the experimentations I performed on myself, I decided to use Ashwagandha. In addition to having this interesting side-affect, I find it is more effective for the memory.

I also currently take the herb turkey-tail. Although it is marketed to boost the immune system, I found it is very effective for all of the nose-bleeds I have had. The first event occurred on January 1st, 1999. The next was over a year later. A co-worker at the department store found me in the bathroom lounge unable to stop it and she explained that I must use ice. She ran to the restaurant to get some.

When I worked at the pharmacy, I tried many techniques as the problem steadily worsened. The ice became less-and-less effective until it did not work at all. I then found the homeopathic remedy of arnica was extremely effective. And then experienced the less-and-less phenomenon. Then I proceeded to use ester-C. And then came the less-and-less phenomenon.

At the vitamin store I moved-on to vitamin K, liver bile, and then a combination of C, K and liver bile. And then came the turkey-tail which is also becoming less effective. Yesterday, I tried vinpocetine, which is a derivative of the herb periwinkle. It worked and helped another unrelated issue of my laryngitis caused by a cold I caught from a co-worker.

Perhaps not ironically, vinpocetine is used to boost brain activity.

It is also my understanding from my consultation with a neurologist, that a weak diaphragm is symptomatic of a nervous system disorder.

My doctor drew some more blood over a weak ago. It is my understanding that research is being performed on it as something mysterious was found.

Monday, November 12, 2001

Two days ago I went on my half-hour break and made my usual stop at a chocolate store. I reached for my selection of chocolate and hazelnut and almost grabbed something else.

Last night I dreamt I was in an ice cream parlor and ordered the chocolate and nut flavor only to realize after I made the request that it had almonds. Upon noticing it also had pistachios, I decided I might like it after all but the dream ended before I found out.

Two weeks ago, as you already know, I was again in my doctor's office having blood drawn. As I waited for the doctor, I read in a magazine that the ailment which my gastroenterologist diagnosed me as having in July of 2000--irritable bowel syndrome--is NOT caused by the colon but rather the nerves surrounding it.

A few days ago I linked this latter item to my weak diaphragm, nose bleeds, and the laryngitis currently in its tenth day of affliction. (Although I must tell you I can finally talk comprehensibly on the telephone.)

Without question, I decided, this is a nerve gas in my system. I decided to research the events of World War I.

This should be the moment in which I would contact my grandmother. I did the next best thing and went to her Encyclopaedia Britannica, 1941, London, volume 5, pages 350-51:

"No attempt will be made to enumerate all the chemical agents which might be used in war. Many thousands of compounds were thoroughly studied during the World War period, 1914-18. Comparatively few were deemed worthy of test under battle conditions and of those only about a dozen were in actual use at the termination of that war. The majority of chemical warfare agents are organic compounds of which the theoretical number is almost limitless. From these, it is quite possible that more effective war chemicals will be found. On the other hand it is more probable that modification of types now known or more efficient methods of dispersion will first appear rather than entirely new discoveries."

The Encyclopaedia proceeds to discuss a few of these gases, including this one:

"Hydrocyanic acid, though long known as one of the deadliest of compounds, was used with but little success during the period 1914-18. It is a paralysant acting vigorously on the central nervous system to produce quick death. Under ordinary conditions it is a colourless, mobile and volatile liquid with a slight odour of bitter almonds. It is a nonpersistent casualty agent. Because of its high volatility it is most difficult to maintain effective concentrations of hydrocyanic acid in the field; hence this compound has so far proven of little value in chemical warfare."

I sometimes wonder for how long this alleged operation at Heathrow Airport was functional. I speculated 50 years. Perhaps it was longer. Or maybe it was only a recent event.

I also sometimes wonder how long it took to kill all the other victims. I was at Heathrow in July 1998, and was originally predicted to die by Christmas of 1999.

And then there is one more critical factor in that I waited two months before I began to use the asthma inhaler allegedly tainted in July of 1998. Could the chemicals have mixed together thereby creating a new compound? And if the medicine did break-it-down, would it have ensued a slower-acting chemical? (The inhaler was over-the-counter and either Bronkaid Mist, Primatene Mist, or CVS generic brand.)

As I stated on another day, I suspect the "doctor" of Heathrow had his own laboratory. It does not make sense to me that the substance would be manufactured elsewhere and transported to this clinic, although I admit it is a possibility.

If this is the substance, and if it has NOT been modified in the lab such as to reduce its potential volatility, then I would guess that Heathrow made an unusually high number of telephone calls to the nearest fire department while this alleged operation was functional.

In December of 1998, perhaps the original expected date-of-death, a new person appeared at the department store where I worked. At the time, I was settling into my new job and was grateful to the Lord as I occupied my register outside of the Taylor Shop.

She became a manager-trainee in another department, eventually graduated to the position of manager, and in November of 1999, immediately after my chest x-ray showing two normal lungs (contrary to the frightening one of approximately six-weeks earlier), she was transferred out of that department into ours. My manager was promoted and transferred into another store. Although this first manager and I had a few problems, I once almost called her "Ma" on the sales floor but caught myself in time. She has two grown sons. She tried very hard to pull me through this illness, but her experiences and that of her live-in boyfriend had no resemblance to mine.

The new manager was a total disaster. I understand that a transfer can be hard on the best of managers, but she was under the immediate guidance of her divisional manager who was very experienced with our department. We began to lose $250,000/month and the department next to ours suffered so much that its manager found another job in another department store. When our rivalry finally exploded I was suspended for a week WITH pay. This flowed into my vacation. The suspension would have been shorter except she could not stand the sight of me, but eventually had to force herself in the presence of the human resources manager.

During the suspension, I had a meeting with the general and human resources managers in which the former found every excuse to defend her. I was told that if two new people don't know enough to pick cloths-up off of the floor it is my fault for not explaining it to them. Additionally, she saw nothing wrong with the manager demanding of me to clean out a full fitting room, and the rolling rod carrying its overflow, in 45 minutes, while caring for a new associate. This incident was, of course, after the ten-cents-per hour raise. I would have to work hard for that money. I'll never forget how William stood-by and watched this.

At this meeting, the general manager asked me to keep my personal life to myself and not discuss it with anyone on the sales floor. Among the personal issues she cited was my allegation that this department manager had poisoned my inhaler.

But I NEVER made any such allegation against her.

This department manager was also peculiar in that she only spoke in cliches.

In January of 2000, after I called-up my former manager complaining endlessly, the divisional manager and she called me in for a meeting. The divisional and I argued, without raising our voices. She made it very clear to me at the beginning and end that I am not to telephone the other store to complain to my former manager. I responded at the beginning that I have a Constitutional right as a United States citizen to freedom of speech. When she repeated herself at the end I did not answer. Toward the end of the conference the department manager said to me, "You better get your priorities straight." I asked her what she meant by that, but she didn't know what the word "priority" meant.

In another instance, I complained only to the department manager, that two people (who had only been with the company for a few months) had not been in the fitting rooms for a few hours and it was a disaster. She answered the way to handle this is to say to them, "What can we as a team do about this?" This was a mechanical reproduction of the company's teamwork theme. She probably did not know what it meant because she did then demand of them to help me clean-it-out.

I was very close to a co-worker. One of her statistical issues was a few points below the company's goal. So the manager handed her a memo saying, "Stop sucking and get those numbers." When I explained this to the general manager she insisted it was slang rather than sexual harassment.

But her "slang" would indicate a language problem.

Shortly after this department manager began working for this store in her first department, the head of Loss Prevention was fired. I originally heard it was because he was caught stealing from the registers. I later heard this was slanderous and that there was another actual set of events. I heard he witnessed a manager stealing and went to the general manager arguing, "That isn't right." She told him to, "Let it go." He refused.

In June of 2000, after my suspension, and shortly before my last day, the event of semi-annual inventory began. It is my understanding that they were having problems transmitting information. I suspected a manager tampered with the equipment.

On my day back from my suspension, at the meeting with the human resources manager and the department manager (i.e., not the general manager), I entered the office and sat next to the department manager. She looked at me with an upset expression in that she could not tolerate the insult. The look was non-aggressive. The region between her nose and upper lip was extended and she was frowning.

I was baffled by this emotional condition. I eventually surmised she is the great-grandchild of the secret family of Adolph Hitler. I eventually found a photograph of him with a little girl who seemed to me to be his daughter. This manager knew of my theory. I sent it to her via the grapevine after I left.

In September of 2000, I visited a few of my co-workers as they were stock-clerking. I starred at her skin tone wishing I had a color photo of Hitler. She asked me, "Are you going to stay here?" I said I was. She answered, "And scare away my customers?" I said, "Probably." She called security and told them I was sitting on the table. Of course, I was leaning on it. Either this was a deliberately false accusation, or she did not speak enough English to state the correct events. They asked me to leave unless I am shopping.

I have since had several conversations with the higher managers asking to visit my friends. I was told to sit in the restaurant for several hours and receive each one of them. They did not want the unprofessional behavior of scaring away the customers. I reminded one such manager that they tolerated associates who spent endless hours on the phone while their departments experienced the highest amount of customer theft. So I was given permission to briefly visit each person. I asked for this in writing but was refused.

That manager's English was accent-free. However, I suspect that could be the product of television-education. I do not believe she was born in this country.

I believe the company believes she is connected to the movie production company. They believe she will bring them my cooperation, which will lead to the return of the embezzled ten million dollars, compensation for the ten million dollars (or more) in lost revenue for her incompetence, and the dollar amount of stolen merchandise. Even if the movie is successful, and I give them substantive advertising in MY SCRIPT, I can't imagine their recovery from such losses.

I have never told you that the infectious disease specialist who examined me in September of 2000 sent a memorandum to my doctor suggesting I might be "delusional" because I suspected I was poisoned. I later confronted him and asked if he is proven wrong, does that make him "delusional"? He said it didn't but did not explain why. I also reminded him of the fact that the first victims of lyme disease were locked-up in mental institutions. I additionally demanded of him to acknowledge the fact that many people are poisoned every year. The most sensationalized cases are the date-rape-drug. He agreed to refund the fee I paid him on the condition that I gave him a copy of the World Health Organization's report.

Returning to the issue of The X-Syndrome, I should also tell you that fragments of my script have been reproduced in other television shows. Most noticeable is the character of the peculiar juror in a trial.

As for William, he still wants me to pay for his plane ticket to New York as I cannot fly with a chronic nose-bleed condition and cannot leave the vicinity of my doctor. He obviously can't afford it. Would everyone please offer him one penny?

November 16, 2001

I was fired from my job at The Vitamin Shoppe last night. I don't know why. I had an argument with three managers in which they insisted the reason why we did not reach planned sales last month, and would not likely this month, was because I was not an effective salesperson. This next thing I knew I was told to "Go home."

It never occurred to me to give this company free advertising on my site because I wanted my work location unknown for obvious reasons. Even if I did provide "guaranteed advertising", I don't believe my Internet friends of Aquatic Apes would have appreciated the motivation behind it.

At first, I did not know what happened last night. I originally thought it was William who would be easily intimidated by my acquisition of the position of assistant manager available in two weeks. An assistant manager of a store of seven employees would easily socially outrank anyone of the English House.

I believe what happened was that I was indirectly told I will receive the position of assistant manager after I become an effective salesperson.

But last night, while I experienced this state of confusion, I was in terror that when I wake-up this morning, my web-site would no longer exist. If this ever happens, you'll know I did not leave, but rather, it was taken away from me. It is my only democratic freedom. As you already know, I did not even have the right to have my home maintenanced until after I smashed two television sets on my driveway.

I am tired of William's attitude toward money. I want him to transfer into an austerity college. Not that one already exists, but I hope it will. I want this college to resemble that which my ancestors attended. I want it to have the best quality teachers (which are paid competitive salaries), and a well constructed building (which HAS modern plumbing and heating). But unlike my ancestors, I want him to work to pay his tuition and living expenses.

When I thought I was going to be his wife, I wondered how I was going to raise children in an environment so-generous with money. I wanted the establishment of an austerity school because I did not want them to believe that expensive, modern magic markers, among other things, will raise their reading scores. But I only wanted them to attend for one or two years. Otherwise, I wanted them to graduate high school with computer skills.

The best teachers and well-constructed buildings should not create the education bills we have today. And every person I have ever known who attended such schools earlier this century have reading and writing skills such that one cannot easily determine if they are college graduates unless one carefully interviews them. And sometimes, they have no collegiate background.

As grateful as I am for all I learned at The Vitamin Shoppe, this is not the job I yearned for. As I was recovering in the spring and summer, there were two job possibilities. The first was as a reporter for The New York Times. I wanted to cover the behind-the-scenes research in the American Museum of Natural History, where I interned. I also wanted to cover activity of other museums, as well as front-of-the-scenes exhibit activity. They indicated they wanted non-in-depth coverage of exhibits. I could not explain the excitement which the general public cannot see, as well as the fact that they do not need my anthropological background for what they wanted.

At that time, it seemed I not only had the job, but a strict stipulation that I am not to work so-hard that I burn-out. They insisted I am to continue sewing.

Then President Georgie-Pooh insisted he had a better job awaiting me in the United Nations Ambassador's office.

At the time, I decided to let fate decide which position I will hold. So I ended-up back in customer service.

On other issues, I have good news. The employer which fired me in the year 2000 has finally realized that their 20 million-plus dollars are non-recoverable.

I would like to place the 20 million in proper perspective. This, of course, is not sales but rather profits. In 1999, the company had record-high sales of one billion dollars. Our store was 55 million of this. I don't know what their profit margin was. If I randomly guess and say 10% then it would require over 200 million dollars in sales for compensation.

As for my health, I have found a product called Padma Basic marketed by EcoNugenics of Santa Rosa, California. I began yesterday to take two pills, three times per day. Yesterday I had two full meals, and was much more energetic. But it is still much too early to tell if it is a treatment or cure.

If it is a cure, then I am pleased to tell you that the pills are not bottled but rather individually wrapped in packets which are as easily transportable as the Aerobic 0-7.

I learned of this when researching in our library at work. I found that multiple sclerosis has some resemblances to my condition, and this is a suggested supplement.

The Padma formula is an ancient Tibetan preparation of 19 herbs.

Monday, November 19, 2001

I have improved. My asthma has eased somewhat in that when I take the Albuterol prescription inhaler every four hours, including at night, I do not need as strong a dosage. I saw a tiny amount of improvement of the abdominal swelling this morning, and am eating rather voraciously.

Another important symptom has almost disappeared. This began in the fall of 1998 as the first symptom of this illness. It was a strong, sometimes unbearable, itch at the base of my spine. It eased substantially after the single dosage of Aerobic 0-7 in March of 2001, which seemingly eliminated the brain infection.

This symptom persisted after I began taking the Padma Basic on Thursday. At midday on Friday, I decided to add in some Amoxicillan. This is an antibiotic available by prescription only. I had some remaining from the time we speculated I had lyme disease. I have found I need two Padma, three-times-per-day, and two five hundred units of Amoxicillan, three-times-per-day. Additionally, I take two pills of Acidopholis, three-times, and two pills of Fo-Ti, three-times. The latter is because I personally discovered it prevents the yeast infections while I am on antibiotics (except with the Aerobic 0-7).

I have also noticed that my hair appears more vivacious.

But I must emphasize it is still too early to ascertain if this is a cure or treatment.

I think maybe it was a good thing to lose my job as I enter what is hopefully the final stage of my illness. I will need all of my rest to make the quickest and most effective recovery without, I hope, any permanent damage.

Tuesday, November 20, 2001

My asthma has substantially improved. Last night I resumed taking the Serevant inhaler. I stopped taking this in July of this year because the asthma was so severe it was ineffective.

In the spring I took the Serevant every twelve hours to prevent attacks. I required some supplementation with the over-the-counter inhaler which was taken as needed. I eventually took the Serevant every six hours supplemented by the Albuterol prescription inhaler. And then only the Albuterol every four hours was effective.

I am now needing the Serevant every twelve hours with a small amount of Albuterol. My nose bleeds may also have stopped. In a few hours I will know more about that issue.

The only problem is that I am experiencing the worse yeast infections I ever had. I am trying to accept that as good news.

There is no additional advancement on the abdominal swelling.

I heard the news about the Philippines. It is very unfortunate that they are experiencing problems with terrorism by Moslem fundamentalists internally. My only question for them is what is the nature, if any exists, of their economic relationship with China? If they have contractual ties, would they consider supplanting these with other competitive contracts? And are there companies willing to offer such?

I do not know if I will work on this web-site tomorrow. I do know that I will not be able to work on it on Thursday, Friday, or the weekend. I am very delighted that I am able to trust your judgment as the most famous shopping day of the Christmas Season is rapidly approaching.

On another subject, it is my understanding that scientists are soon to begin, if they haven't already, animal experimentations to seek cures for these biochemical weapons. If these are from World War I, I would like researchers to explore the possibly that the work may already have been done much earlier this century. To illustrate my point as strongly as I can, I am exhibiting on this web-site a copy of my great-grandfather's dissertation, although I realize he did not discuss these issues. He was my mother's father's father and a physician-internist. In his time, bacteria was discovered. In his Last Will and Testament, he decreed he must be cremated because he did not want to be consumed by these creatures. (I had my mother cremated because I wanted to take her home.)

In fairness to my mother's mother, I am including an abstract of her dissertation as well as the award she received for it.

And in fairness to my mother, I would like to talk more about her whistle-blowing.

My mother worked as a claims examiner for the Department of Labor, Unemployment Insurance Division. She believed that the computer-oriented remodeling of the system in the 1980's created a situation in which the dead could easily collect money. She was very suspicious of her manager, who once demanded of her $25. in exchange for a paid day-off she was entitled to.

She transmitted three investigation-requests. Two were anonymous and addressed the issue of the dead and money. The third was a formal, signed letter to a high-ranking official demanding an investigation into the $25. issue, among other things.

Two investigators immediately arrived and interviewed each person individually. The manager insisted she should be allowed to sit-in with each interview. Of course she wasn't. When my mother was called-in she truthfully answered their questions and told them she transmitted the anonymous requests. After my mother's interview concluded, she left the office and the District Manager then entered and this manager was finally summoned. This was a sound-proof room.

All of a sudden she began to scream and scream and scream for 45 minutes. My mother tried to describe for me the repetitive, incomprehensible noise she made. She emerged looking horrible and said to one of my mother's co-workers, who always paid her, "We'll have to put in some false pay-orders."

Unknown to my mother at the time, a copy of her signed letter had been circulated to each of those she mentioned in it BEFORE the investigators arrived. They each submitted written responses. One stated it would be "imprudent" not to fire my mother.

The manager, at a later date, did try to tell my mother that she is not supposed to make investigation-requests against management. Of course, this was my mother's Constitutional right.

The Cuomo Administration did such an extraordinary job, that I was very happy when this Governor's son assumed such an important role in the Clinton Administration.

My mother did eventually resign. And because she did not work in civil service within the year prior to her death, I was unable to collect her pension.

We learned later of a law protecting whistle-blowers. My mother asked of her union attorney why she had not pursued such protection. She said there wasn't enough evidence but would not give a more elaborate explanation.

I later independently learned from experience that there seems to be an unwritten agreement between unions and management to avoid the courts. Earlier this year, I told President Georgie-Pooh that the American Bar Association must forbid attorneys from participation in this because they are no longer attorneys, but rather extended paralegals.

Before my mother transmitted these letters, there had been other harassment.

One day, my mother was on the desk for fast issues only. The supervisor (i.e., the person between her and her manager) offered her a long case of a former employee of the office. She was very good friends with my mother. They used to share their sewing experiences. My mother remembered the document she signed vowing to never take cases of friends and said, "I can't."

He exclaimed with delight, "You're refusing! You're refusing!"

"I can't. I can't."

She was reprimanded for insubordination. It went into arbitration. His argument was that she should just follow orders. My mother wanted to counter by stating, "I thought we heard the last of that at Neurenberg." The union representation forbade that.

The arbitrator ruled that my mother should have demanded his order in writing and had her suspended for three days.

(Is there an irony that as I discuss this on a web-site called madcow, my mother and I privately nicknamed this supervisor cow-manure?)

After the investigation-requests, my mother was fired. This, too, went into arbitration. She was suspended for twelve weeks. One reason was that she used the wrong forms for the anonymous requests.

My mother had great amounts of sympathy for her manager who came to this country as a teenager after witnessing horrors of the Cuban revolution.

I remember once calling the office. This manager answered and had almost no accent.

My mother told me that's impossible because she always heard a very intense accent.

My mother was one day in another office and telephoned her. At the beginning of the conversation, this manager had almost no accent. The accent intensified as the conversation continued.

We believed she was attempting to solicit pity from my mother as this was after the investigation-requests. We believed, for reasons I described in my book, that the manager believed the requests could be rescinded. Her non-aquatic ape condition was such that she had no understanding for the socially adaptive principles of justice.

There is an old-saying, "War makes strange bed-fellows." During this period, my mother became best of friends with a co-worker she never before exchanged kind words with. He requested the first investigation for a missing check which involved the employee mentioned above who discussed imprudence and false pay-orders.

During this period of time, my mother went on leave-of-absence. When she returned, this fellow told her everything which happened to him. A few weeks later, he had a claimant at his desk whom he never met who described how his non-governmental job came to an end. My mother listened intensely as he told the identical story this fellow told my mother. As he spoke, the fellow held his head down while my mother stretched her neck as far as possible. When he was finished, he asked, "Do you believe me?"

"Yeah," the fellow exclaimed, raising and turning his head.

I will be thinking about him this Holiday Season.

I wish you all the best for Thanksgiving. Please remember this is the day which is busiest for the hospitals. Please take good care of yourselves.

Monday, November 26, 2001

I have improved. I am controlling the nose bleeds with 1,500 units per day of Ester-C, a vitamin which no longer seemed effective. I am using Serevant every 13 hours, instead of 12, with the same amount of Albuterol supplementation as before. And I am finally losing weight at a rate of 1/3-pounds-per-day. I have lost three pounds from my ceiling of 177, and have 34 more to go.

I am losing the weight despite my binge on Christmas cookies. But ever since I discovered the Dandelion Root several years ago, my experiences have been that weight loss has nothing to do with what I eat.

I am also taking the over-the-counter medication, Rantidine. I take two 75 mg dosages twice-a-day. This is controlling the yeast infections. But it is not why I am taking it.

In early 2000, when I first went to my doctor complaining about appetite problems, I was placed on a prescription strength of this. I was amazed at how bright and shiny my eyes became. But nothing more happened. I knew at the time that the toxin was acidic. (I learned at the pharmacy that this is available in non-prescription strength, even though William did not want me to become pharmacy-educated.)

On Wednesday night, I skipped a dosage of Amoxicillin to satisfy my doctor's curiosity that it might only be the herb which is working. I had a very substantial setback. My chiropractor noticed it on Friday. But I appeared to have fully recovered from it by now.

I am no longer taking the Fo-Ti. I am taking Blessed Thistle. This is to strengthen my system. In the past, I could only see the chiropractor once-per-week. This was because, I believe, after she pushed fluids out of the spine, my system had to discharge these and could not work so hard. The Blessed Thistle is making it possible for me to now go in three times-per-week.

I saw my medical technician (i.e., hair-dresser) on Saturday. She found split ends on the central-upper-back region of my head. I am trying to research what that means.

The speculated diagnosis of a central nervous system disorder explains one more mysterious event in June of 1999, just before the abdominal swelling began and the asthma became severe. I developed Shingles. I went immediately to the doctor when I saw the rash just below the rib cage on my right side. I did this because I obeyed the commercials and because life experience has taught me that if I see a rash I cannot explain, I am to run directly to the doctor.

Until now, I believed that the only thing I had in common with women over 50, the most common victims of this disease, was a vitamin E deficiency. If you may recall, in the fall of 1999 I was taking 40,000 units of dry vitamin E per day for a few days to reconstruct my partially collapsed upper part of my right lung. I also took 2,000 units of oily vitamin E for a few days.

I now believe that while the E may have been a factor, it was not the only factor.

On the subject of the department store which was my former employer, they are now beginning to realize that the laws were made to prevent them from making fools out of themselves.

On another subject, I would like to return to the issue of my mother's whistle-blowing. I would like to also discuss our over-taxed paychecks.

I would like President Georgie-Pooh, and all 50 governors of these United States, to audit governmental finances such that we see a difference in our paychecks by their next re-election campaigns. As for those whose re-elections are next year, you'll have to work faster.

This should boost our economy. I would appreciate if you would telephone the President's office and that of your governor's to explain this.

I do not believe this is the only issue straining our economy. In 1994, I had an experience which took me a few years to ethologically understand. (Ethology is the study of animal behavior. I am an ethological anthropologist which means that I study human behavior.)

At the time, I applied for a job as a receptionist in a law firm. One of the practicing attorneys was someone who saw me a few times at the courthouse, and pursued me. I was interviewed. It seemed I had the job. I believe they waited for me to come begging, although I did not understand that at the time.

Instead, I kept the job as a stock clerk in another department store. One day, as I was working, a male dressed in a business suit too small for him stood before me with his arms crossed in front of him. I continued working while only giving him an occasional passing glance. Eventually he turned around, took a few steps away, and rocked back-and-forth in a very frustrated condition scaring customers around him. He resumed his stance for a few more minutes.

One week later I thought about that attorney and what he would have looked like if he gained some weight and bulged out of his cloths. I thought about his height and hair color. I finally realized it was the same person who was attempting to humiliate me.

It was expected of me to engage in undignified begging to acquire the dignified white collar job.

When employers practice this, they don't understand that the most undignified ego-entertainer, is also the least aquatic ape, and will inevitably subvert them.

This ethological issue is damaging our economy. We must evolve.

I would also like to return to the subjects of The X-Syndrome and of the Menace who was also a client of my former attorneys. I explained how a former friend cooperated with the Menace's demands because she wanted to earn money through the technique of selling my privacy rather than acquiring a job. I should have explained that women with careers and salaries most men would envy cooperated with those of The X-Syndrome arguing they would lust for a honeymoon in which they would first have to sign over all copyrights before being impregnated. But that was not their choice of words. Rather, they said, they wished they had a guy who loved them.

On another subject, I heard the news about the beginning of the return of democratic freedoms to Afghanistan. Under Taliban rule, no one could watch television or date freely. Women could not work, become educated, or receive medical treatment from male doctors. All those who attempted to violate these decrees risked the death penalty.

I hope they learn from us.

I hope you are enjoying your Christmas Season despite our protest. It must be very frustrating to engage in restricted shopping. I hope you will use your innovativeness to find alternate gifts. I would recommend a used sewing machine. Some of them are of higher quality than the newer ones.

To re-enforce our protest, I would like to ask everyone to select an embassy or mission to the United Nations of any of our targeted countries, and telephone them explaining you will not buy any of their products until political prisoners are released. You may even want to select an item first and ask them to earn the opportunity for your purchase. I would like you to telephone at least one such mission or embassy per week.

Tuesday, November 27, 2001

I have discontinued the vitamin C as the nose bleeds appear to have completely stopped. I am taking Serevant every 15 hours, and the itch at the bottom of my spine is gone.

I forgot to tell you yesterday that Rantidine is an antacid. It is therefore that it is useful in this circumstance.

I heard on the news last night and this morning that there are concerns that upon the capture of Osama Ben Laden, another terrorism act will occur.

Earlier in this web-site, I greatly praised the information services of Russia for their extraordinary efficiency in that Prime Minister Putin was able to be the first to telephone President Georgie-Pooh to express his condolences.

This service is so-extraordinary, that I would like to ask of everyone to telephone Russia's Embassy or Mission to the United Nations to ask for help on this information issue.

I realize you must all have extraordinary phone bills after all of my requests. You know I live on a careful budget and understand your concerns. So therefore we must demand of government officials to adjust our paychecks before the arrival of our next telephone bills.

Thursday, November 29, 2001

I am still suffering from Non-Movie-Production Syndrome, and Restricted-Democratic-Freedom Disease. And I know that after I complete the challenge of the brain and spinal poisoning, life will offer another of the many health problems available. This time, however, my web-site will be open before these begin, rather than as they are paralyzing my neck.

The only thing which stands between me and my web-site is money. I do worry about the day coming that I will no longer be able to afford the $19.95/month charge by my host, as well as all the other expenses. It is approximately $500/month. What I need is my real career.

I have thought about having the clothes I made photographed. But my bitterness over my other ailments will show in my face. And I would like the clothes photographed in the context for which these were made.

Otherwise, I am taking Serevant only once per day, while still requiring a small amount of Albuterol supplementation. I regained one pound of weight, and my appetite has diminished.

Monday, December 03, 2001

The contents of my last entry into this diary upset me enough that I finally decided to conquer a small amount of my computer incompetence on Saturday and placed one copy of my book on eBay. It is called, HOMO SAPIENS MODERN Our Archaic State. I am including on this web-site a reproduction of the front and back covers. Unfortunately, we are now having computer problems and the seven-day deadline for this auction may not be met by us.

In fairness to my former publisher, I must tell you that the back-ad was written by my promotion assistant, and the cover was executed by one of their contractors.

I will proceed to market one copy per week to finance this web-site. If there are any proceeds beyond what I need, I will use it to have some of the clothes I made photographed. I want very much to do this for two reasons.

It is very helpful to me in that there are certain issues I cannot see in the mirror, especially in the back region. But even in front, I suspect I have the same proof-reading problems when I make entries into this web-site in that there are some things which I cannot see until after I leave the computer and cannot make immediate corrections.

The second reason I formulated this morning. And this relates to where I purchase some of my fabric.

One of the stores I shop at buys from major designers the fabrics they did not use. I call it conscience-free shopping because it has no impact on where the fabrics were manufactured. I purchase these items at a discount at the same time these are in high fashion.

The shop's owner is the son of the original owners. A husband-and-wife team, my mother discovered them when she was still married to my father while he carried me into the store. The store was then part of a marketplace, where she also bought vegetables.

Recently, the shop has been waiting for a shipment from a designer. They have waited so-long that the owner hung-up the phone on them.

One of the executives of this designer-company lives near me.

I admit it is very egotistical and self-centered of me to think this issue involves me. Although I have to wonder if they don't want me taking their fabric and competing with them. I never had any intention to compete with them, which is why I never memorized from which designer each strip of fabric was coming. But if competition is what they want, and if it is the only way I can acquire my fabric in the future, they have it.

As for my health, on Friday my asthma returned to its pre-Padma/Amox condition. However, my chiropractor noticed that my pelvis was fine, unlike my neck and thoracic (i.e., behind my lungs) regions. The condition of my digestive system progressed this morning. It amazes me that this doctor medically recognized this before I experienced it.

My guess that the Padma/Amox combination are working from the bottom of my spine to the top and that a great battle is now occurring in the middle.

Wednesday, December 05, 2001

I should have mentioned that I will autograph the books I market on eBay. I thought it was understood. That was very foolish of me. I will also add a personal note thanking the purchaser for helping finance this web-site, and specify the date, and that this is the first, or second, or third, etc. eBay book sold. The autograph is more than my expression of gratitude for all of the emotional support you gave me during all of this. It is also because my former publisher has adequate equipment to also produce the book. It is necessary marketing protection. Some of the first books I sold did not have my autograph because I was unaware of this potential threat. When seven un-autographed copies of my book sold in a supermarket where I once worked, they monitored this activity and replenished the supply with the copies they printed. When I noticed this, everyone finally advocated my decision to fire them and had them remove their copies. But I stopped marketing anyway because the advertising was not cost-effective. At that time, I also sold a few copies in a few other stores.

I should also finally properly acknowledge whose idea it was to market my book on eBay. It was not mine. It couldn't have been. I'm too computer-incompetent to think like this. It was that of The New York Times. It was suggested several months ago.

For the purpose of honesty, I must emphasize that this will NOT be the first autographed book sold. The first one was in 1995, immediately after its release. A friend of mine named Cathy purchased it. She did not let me neglect to autograph it. She worked at another supermarket where I was employed while in graduate school and again for a few months during this same year. She helped me with the dispute I had with my publisher over the back-ad (i.e., before I fired them). I designed one version and they presented me with their standard version. I met Cathy in the post office as I was mailing my response and I asked her to close her eyes. When she opened them she was looking at both versions and selected mine without knowing it was mine. My publisher was very distressed.

I would also like to explain the figure of $500/month of web-site expenses for anyone who may be confused.

As I stated a few weeks ago, my computer incompetence renders it necessary for me to use the computer of a local graphics company rather than purchase my own. They charge me $75/hour. Before anyone gasps at this figure I would like to remind them that the gastoenterologist charged $200 for a half-hour consultation to formulate a diagnosis he did not understand (i.e., irritable bowel syndrome, which he stated was a colon rather than nervous system disorder). And please also remember the infectious disease specialist who, for $185 for this same amount of time, rubber-stamped this diagnosis and suggested I might be "delusional".

I inquired about a new computer and learned that it is $1,000 which includes the first year subscription onto the internet (a $250 value), as well as software. What this did not include was the printer, photography scanner, installment of a jack into my home, and the telephone bill. This also did not include all of my inevitable visits back to this graphics store to undo all the messes I will get into, as well as all the other little expenses such as disks, etc.

I decided that when I am finished with all that, it would at best be a major effort to save a few dollars. And at worst, more expensive.

My only phobia is that when I check my e-mail, I will close and erase the file before printing it. I wonder if eBay has a built-in system for incompetents like myself. Would they automatically re-send?

My asthma is slightly improved in that it let me sleep through the night. I am seeing the chiropractor two-times-per-day, three-times-per-week. She doesn't charge me for the afternoon visits. I told her that if I had things my way I would go in two hours after each Padma/Amox dosage. I believe she has to push debris out of the spine at it accumulates so the antidote may proceed throughout my spine. Yesterday morning I had an urge to see her and then developed a splitting headache in the afternoon. Although I did not want to take a pain killer while I am on these other items, I finally had no choice. Four extra strength pills had a minor affect and I finally took a hot bath which worked. There must have been something wrong with my circulation.

As for William, he was caught in his own lie.

For a few weeks now, he has been desperately attempting to lure me to purchase a plane ticket to London for a guaranteed extravagant Christmas. A few days ago, when I expressed my concern in this diary that the day may come that I may not be able to afford this web-site, he withdrew his demands concerned for his father's reputation which this web-site restored. Of course, guaranteeing the financial security of this web-site was an obvious Christmas present.

He never had any intention of being with me at Christmas.

Monday, December 10, 2001

I lost a few pounds, and then regained it. I seem to be hovering around 177. After I described the severe headache to you, I saw the chiropractor who suggested it may have been because I was getting rid of something. She then examined me and noticed that my neck was fine.

On most days I need a second bath in the evening to either eliminate an oncoming headache, relieve digestive problems, or cure depression. I only have one symptom at a time, which disappears immediately as I enter the bath. I noticed some problems last month with depression but never thought it was linked to these events until now.

On the issue of eBay, I am aware that people I know attempted to enter bids which were not processed. I understand eBay is having technical difficulties, which I am certain will soon be resolved.

On the issue of our original protest of release of political prisoners, I am increasing the minimum number from 10,000 to 15,000 to compensate for the time delay. I would very much appreciate if you would telephone the Chinese Embassy or Mission to the United Nations to explain this modification of our demands.

On the issue of our protest regarding governmental spending, I would like to ask you to now telephone one of your federal representatives each week (i.e., senator or representative of the House) as well as one of your state representatives explaining that you are part of the Coalition Against Fraudulent Pay Orders and would like audits of governmental finances with appropriate adjustments to our paychecks before the arrival of our next telephone bills and especially before their next re-election campaigns. If your representative is only concerned about issues concerning their family businesses (e.g., travel industry profits, real estate values, etc.) then they must be told to expand their priorities.

Of course, there are many local financial issues of government. In my town, we have our own problems.

A few years ago, the contract between the teacher's union and school boards became a run-away situation with the average salary for teachers now being $80,000/year. The beginning is $48,437/year and the highest is $97,256/year.

Their political platform was that higher salaries attract better teachers. But many people questioned if they were hiring the best. Good parents wanted to spend more time doing homework with children who were learning less-and-less, but found themselves working more-and-more hours to pay their school tax bill. People who had been in their homes for 30-60 years told me that the quality of education which their children had in the 1970's was of a much higher standard than what their grandchildren are now receiving. Members of the fire department complained that it is the lower paid blue collar workers which typically volunteer. And as the tax bill increases, their staff decreases as these people move away.

We not only pay a school tax bill directly into the system, but indirectly as gas prices are among the highest in the nation because the station's owners pay such taxes also. We pay again when our real estate market depreciates in that prospective buyers avoid our town because they are aware of our notorious tax rates.

As I attempted to argue with the more-money-is-better people, I was told by them, "But don't you think the kids are worth it?" It is an non-substantive statement. As I was campaigning with concerned parents in front of the voting station, one individual came-up to us arguing, "But wouldn't more money be better." He repeated this same phrase over-and-over as my friends were countering with substantive arguments.

That year, the budget was not passed by the voters. The following year it was and his daughter then received door-to-door bus service so she would not have to walk a few steps down the street.

Eventually, the tax bill strained this family's budget too and he decided to sell his daughter's health to me. He had her park her bicycle in front of my driveway when I came home one day. Her nanny watched all of this as this was her last day. They could no longer afford her.

Another unfortunate side-affect, I believe, is that children are not encouraged to cultivate their innovativeness. Limited affordability should inspire this. Instead, when they arrive in college and realize how inadequately equipped they are, they blame voters like myself for not inputting enough money into the school system.

In one town of our county, the children, with their parents' support, refused to take at least one of the New York State Regents Exams arguing that this test for basic skills ensues a curriculum which restricts their opportunities to learn other topics. I believe this is a ridiculous excuse because without basics, one cannot learn these other subject matters. I believe they just accepted their zero grade. If they wanted to protest, they would have first used other techniques such as letter-writing, missing one day of school, etc.

The teacher's union has never attempted to explain the decline in standards with the increase in salaries. All I ever hear is more money will solve the problems.

One member of the group of concerned parents once said that if we are paying them such high salaries, we should not also be giving them tenure. Tenure is compensation for lower governmental salaries. And in the university world, tenure is to ensure academic freedoms such that, in theory, if one writes a professional paper contradicting what a powerful administrator wrote, one would not be fired.

I would like to ask of everyone to formulate your own maximum tenured salary (e.g., $60,000/year, or whatever you choose), and telephone your governor's office this week, and then one representative per week after this, demanding a new law that teacher's salaries above this figure are not tenurable. For those of you living in states without this problem, I very strongly recommend you take this preventative measure.

I would like to return briefly to the issue of gasoline prices. I understand we can expect an increase soon as all of our foreign suppliers have teamed-up to reduce supply.

I believe there are many other issues involved with this. I once mentioned to the Georgie-Pooh Administration that I always observe a few drops spill out of the pump after I tank even though I follow all procedures correctly. I wonder if there are also leaks in the trucks, pipelines, etc. I would like the gasoline companies to plug these leaks within the next 30 days before my next telephone protest begins.

And on the issue of the Georgie-Pooh Administration, I would like to talk about the new laws in affect to strengthen our ability to locate, arrest, and prosecute suspected terrorists.

As I stated earlier in this web-site, my suspicion has been that the Administration was well enough equipped to prevent the events of September 11th. I suspect that Riaz Hussein was a close associate of Osama Ben Laden and that they had sufficient reason to acquire a search warrant into his home.

The question which must be asked is how can we make our government use its current resources?

I do not believe that expanding the powers which law enforcement officials have will change anything. These prosecutors are attorneys, and the American Bar Association has yet to explain why my former attorney took the initiative of establishing an Addition Consulting Business, and why New York State Supreme Court Justice Wood was so impressed by her. And this is not all I have to talk about on the issue of education and attorneys.

When I fired my publisher, I expressed many concerns. One was that I wanted assurances that my royalties did not face the same fate as the sentences which were cut in half. The second was that I was concerned that the individual who sabotaged this, who was also the above-described Menace, might alter carefully chosen words into libelous statements.

I received no answer on either issue. Instead, they insisted they were doing me a favor by offering to accept my money to repair the damage. They insisted that a publisher is a precious asset. The Menace had promised to give them a future contract on his book then in progress. I am certain he would never have done this because until he signed such a contract, I could never have proven a link between him and this company. But they believed him.

Attorneys I met at the courthouse took the initiative, without my knowledge, of negotiating with the company and the Menace. If I had been invited to negotiate with the latter, I would have said it is $10,000 or face an open court battle which would have jeopardized his business-licenses.

Instead, they agreed I would pay for everything, and had him agree to leave me alone. That is, he could no longer send people to have car accidents with me, etc. He agreed, and was delighted to have the opportunity to have me pay for everything.

The pressure on me was so great to make this payment, that they contacted my then employer and summoned her for a meeting. I did not work at a supermarket at the time. Among her techniques, was the issuance of raises to everyone except me while demanding of these employees not to tell me, but to tell customers. Of course, I was eventually ridiculed. I acquired a very large, retroactively affective, raise from her for this.

I did not know then what these attorneys had done. So I innocently contacted one of them asking if I could place copies of production materials on file with him. He agreed and said he would call me back.

The following morning, I had a conversation with my former publisher as we were closing our relationship. At the end, with a very excited voice, she said, "I'll talk to you later." Then his telephone call came just before I left the house for work, and after the time he said he would call me. He said he could not do this for me and hung-up the phone. My guess is I was then supposed to make a desperate phone call to her.

This attorney did not understand that I had a Constitutional right as a United States citizen to independently publish that book.

Wednesday, December 12, 2001

I heard the news on the 7:30 am news on WQXR that there are some unconfirmed speculations of a biochemical attack awaiting us. Although I realize the threat does not seem great, we cannot ignore any threat and we must consider that what the government tells us and what the government ignores has been two different things.

During the commercials of the morning radio news shows, I often hear the phrase, You will travel, we will help you.

To the British Government, I would like to say,

You will talk, God will make you.

When the United Nations was negotiating with Iraq a few years ago, it was a British person who took the lead role as a UN inspection team, led by a US Marine, waited in Iraq insisting, "We'll be back."

Now I hear that the British Government volunteered to assume a leadership role in the rebuilding of the government of Afghanistan. But this same government has yet to answer the following questions:

Why was a close associate of Osama Ben Laden given a position as a physician in Heathrow Airport--a job reserved for a British citizen only who is a physician, not a pharmacists who was convicted of Conspiracy in the Fourth Degree/Class E Felony?

Why was an investigation into the death of the first baby never performed?

Why was the non-physician associate allowed to continue to perform as such physician after the death of the baby?

Why was there no attempt to explain why the female customs official, who was also the mother of this dead baby, only isolating individuals with diplomatic papers, as their own carefully kept records would prove?

Why was this woman's explanation of the death of the baby considered acceptable and unworthy of further investigation (i.e., I should've told the British Government at an earlier date that he is not a physician, while explaining to her that babies are treated by pediatricians)?

Why were there no routine inspections of this government office, especially if they were constantly making emergency phone calls to the local fire department?

Why was the United Nations not immediately invited into Heathrow Airport to investigate my allegations?

Why was a copy of my letter to the United Nations leaked to those I talked about in this document?

Why, in their defense, did a member of the British Government attempt to slander me and obstruct justice by telling everyone that my real motives for these allegations were concealment of a pregnancy?

Why were there so many attempts to interfere with my treatment, and diagnose my swollen condition as obesity, while ignoring the other symptoms such as partial neck paralysis?

Why did the gastroenterologist lie to me about the nature of Irritable Bowel Syndrome by telling me that it is a colon, rather than nervous system disorder?

Why was I forbidden from becoming educated on pharmaceuticals?

Why was the explanation for the death of the second baby was that I did not pray for the baby?

After I was blamed for the death of the first baby, I demanded Germany's side of the story of what happened during World Wars I and II. I raised the issue that at some point it would be perfectly legal for me to take a Prussian Panzer Division, march into Heathrow, and learn what the nature of this substance is. I am now adding to my list of demands, the nature of the dispute between the Prussian Generals and Adolph Hitler who is hereinafter referred to by his real name of Adolph Schicklegruber. I have heard it was because Germany was losing the war. I have also heard that it was because they learned of the activities within the concentration camps.

I also demanded archeological dating of these camps. I believe that the only things which changed in the 20th century were the introduction of modern technologies, and the fact that allied troops marched through. It is my understanding that my suspicions were confirmed in that these date back to the Middle Ages as do the Nazi emblem and SS.

I wonder, based on my experiences, if Schicklegruber was fighting a war, or playing a game of divide-and-conquer?

I also have a theory as to why I lived so-long, unlike the other alleged victims. My theory is that if one did not have an asthma inhaler at Heathrow, an excuse was found to strip-search thereby having the poison inserted directly into the system.

My theory is based on one more peculiarity of my relationships with physicians who pretended to treat me. The gastroenterologist was obsessed with his recommendation that I undergo a colonopscopy. He was concerned I had cancer, even though he knew nothing about my alleged history with this. I was not worried about this issue because my liver tested normal in the blood and sonogram tests, as well as the fact that all that Solaray Dandelion Root (i.e., 100 pills/day for a few days) went into my system. My rejection of this recommendation was for this and one more reason. The second was that without my mother to stand by me in the hospital, I cannot be drugged.

Why did he want to perform this procedure on a patient who, to his knowledge, was not in any high risk cancer group, and who did not have a colon disorder?

The lack of responsiveness of the Chinese Government is now motivating me to take one more action. I would like to ask of all celebrities to NOT wear in public any clothing made in China or any countries targeted by our protest.

Monday, December 17, 2001

On Wednesday, I decided to add St. John's Wort to my herbal regiment. I am aware of a scientifically unproven theory that it is not a natural anti-depressant but rather a natural antibiotic working on misdiagnosed people. I took one pill and saw my chiropractor a few hours later. With much ease, much came-out of my thoracic region in the morning. In the afternoon I brought her a cream infused with St. John's Wort made by Bath and Body Works. We are now using that too.

On Friday, I saw my chiropractor twice, once in the morning and once in the afternoon. She reminded me over-and-over again that I always tell her that whatever progress I make, she will see it before I experience it. She also repeatedly told me that I will feel better when I wake-up tomorrow morning. I was so discouraged I didn't hear any of it. I was using Albuterol every two hours including during the night as the wheezing constantly woke me up.

On Saturday morning, I finally heard her. I am using the inhaler every four hours and need smaller dosages of it. I slept through the night. There was only one issue which interrupted it.

I try to take my Padma/Amox every eight hours. This often requires setting the alarm for 10 pm.

On Sunday night, less than a half-hour after midnight, one more thing happened.

I finally became sleepy enough to go back to sleep. I turned-out all of the lights in the house and went to bed. Immediately after I lay down one of my windows lit-up. I starred at it for a long time waiting it hear the sound of a car, a human voice, or notice movement. The only thing which happened is something which I thought was a large owl flew by and went toward the roof by my bed. I finally stood-up and was at eye-level with a bright light. The light turned away and disappeared.

After a few minutes of perplexity I looked outside and noticed that the neighbors which always sleep with a bright light on in the living room had a dark house.

I called the Police. I didn't even use their emergency number because I was sure there was a very logical explanation. The Officer interpreted my ability to see the lamp as the actions of a trespasser. I said it came from the street, but admitted I could not have known that.

After he left I thought a long time about it.

For the individual to have lit-up my window immediately after I went to bed, s/he must have waited there a long time, possibly as much as two hours.

If the light came from the street or my driveway, it would have been disrupted by trees and have been below my eye-level.

For the person to have seen my silhouette even though I was across the room and a few feet above ground level, we must have been in close distance from each other.

As for the owl, I believe this was a stage trick.

I have experienced neighbors who steal my mail, cash-in a stock certificate and dividend check, buy a car and throw a party. And then I have seen them fail to understand why it is wrong because the Menace ordered them to do it. Since he is powerful, isn't he responsible? And I saw William wonder what I did to deserve that.

I have experienced other neighbors who trespass on my property and cause $1,800 in damage to the roof of my little cottage, and, after paying that back, take a bat and slam it against the house everyday until the hot water tank on the other side collapsed. Fortunately, I had purchased an extended service warrantee and had only $600 in out-of-pocket expenses (while working for $8.10/hour) for the floor water damage.

I have seen one neighbor who boasted proudly to me that he is a Hitler and then trespass repeatedly on my property causing $365. in damage.

I have experienced neighbors who participated in conspiracies to have car accidents with me on the date of each court appearance, and long after the law suit ended as they just couldn't figure out what simple procedure I used to drive-out without their noticing. I also watched one such neighbor, on the eve of the first attempt, drive-off to have dinner with her family celebrating the soon-to-be-achieved triumph, only to realize it was a waste of money.

I have seen neighbors hold my mother and I responsible for the father's impotence problem. It was made very clear to us that we control this organ of his body in that every time we insult his masculinity, he can't experience sexual excitement with his wife for a week.

I have seen one neighbor demand the attention of her husband by fabricating a story about Fluffy biting her daughter. I have seen her make a Police report, but refuse to sign it, and then nag this poor official for a week until he finally telephoned my mother and told her, "I am not getting in the middle of any neighbor disputes." I have seen her insist to my mother and I that she made a real Police report (as she believed the telephone call bypassed the necessary signature step), and I have seen her insist to us, but no one else, that she had a nurse's report. I am aware that she boasted proudly to the whole neighborhood for a decade about her maternal triumph, which was also her only claim to being a good mother. And I saw her spend this entire decade awaiting her husband's attention. I have seen her chase this nurse out of the neighborhood as the release date of my book approached in 1995 in which I tell some of our side of the story as I analyzed her inability to understand judicial principles. And in 1995, I also saw her daughter sit on my driveway for at least a half-an-hour on her bicycle looking around, I assume for Fluffy. And I have seen this same daughter, for ten years, walk around with her hands clasped together in front of her waist, with her head down and a frown on her face which was part of her social game of poor me can't do anything because poor me was bitten by a dog. And after the release of my book, I have seen her boast proudly to me about the prestigious school she went to as I believe she was ineloquently threatening to write her own version.

But this I have never seen. This person must have been trained.

Now that President Georgie-Pooh has expanded the judicial powers to scrutinize Moslems, he must realize that this same scrutinization must be applied to all those from England, including those arriving at our airports and seaports with diplomatic papers.

I would like to know more about England's plans to eliminate worldwide poverty by 2015 with their "Marshall Plan". Is this a carefully disguised effort to finance terrorism? I now believe that England is a terrorist nation.

I would like Germany to interview all surviving members of the families of the Prussian Generals to understand why they disputed with Schicklegruber to the point of attempting to assassinate him. My grandfather always said that the key to surgery is to get into the correct layer, and then you get everything out. This is the correct layer, we will have to reconstruct its content.

Thursday, December 20, 2001

This may or may not be the last time I talk to you before next year begins. I assume it is because of all of the Holiday restrictions on our schedules.

But before I go any further, a citation is long-overdo for the statement I made twice in that St. John's Wort is theorized to not be an anti-depressant but rather a natural antibiotic working on misdiagnosed people. My citation is a series called, The Natural Pharmacist. This particular book is called, Your Complete Guide to Herbs, by Steven Bratman, M.D., 2000. On page 166, he writes, "Early reports suggested that St. John's Wort or synthetic hypericin might be useful against viruses such as HIV, but these haven't panned out." He then makes the numerical citation of 12. However, I could not find the bibliography at the end of the book. This morning I found that this is available on the internet at www.TNP.com/references/vitamins/.

Dr. Bratman continues to state that, "There is some evidence that the presumed active ingredient...may be able to fight certain bacteria, including some that are resistant to antibiotics." He then refers to number 13. He finally states, "However, this evidence is far too preliminary to count St. John's Wort as an effective antibiotic."

The way I presented these theories (i.e., as a natural antibiotic working on misdiagnosed people) was my interpretation of these statements. Maybe this is not how Dr. Bratman intended his readers to understand him.

And another thing before I express my Holiday wishes. I have the news that one garment I made was photographed. It is a pair of blue, wool pants. I was at a public hearing which was videotaped by a local television station. It concerned Donald Trump's plans to build a golf course in the Town of Mount Kisco. While this is not the town I live in, it was a town I worked in as I mentioned above (see reprimand). I may work in it again. I expressed my opinion against this. (And I was delighted to see children, with close parental guidance, and teenagers without immediate parental encouragement, exercise their democratic rights and speak at the podium.) Trump had no supporters except his own attorneys. I called the television station and asked if I could have a non-video photograph. I was told no. I not only want this to analyze this garment, but I also want to show you the revitalization in my face.

And one more thing before I enter my Holiday mode. I would like to talk about the issue of more-money-is-better. I would like to discuss the fact that my favorite brand of vitamins and herbs is Solaray. It is my favorite because, I believe, it is most effective (with the exception of specialty items such as Padma which is not manufactured by this company). It is often cheaper than the generic brands. Solaray is a competent and efficient company and they apply these skills to everything they do.

And if more-expensive-is-better, than the $3/yard wool remnants I bought should have been of inferior quality to the $18-23/yard wool fabric I bought, which should be of inferior quality to the $40/yard wool available and retail stores. The fact is that the $3. wool is approximately 10% polyester. I suspect this will give it superior stain- and tear-resistance. Furthermore, it was easier to work with because it did not unravel as easily. And it was the $3. remnants which had the greatest emotional impact on William who, I am pleased to announce, has declared that his Princely status would not be threatened by my act of acquiring a job in a fabric store, even if I do earn more money. Sometimes less money buys more emotions, sometimes not.

Over the last year I have much to reflect on. It was the year I prioritized something which I always believed was not very important; the Internet. I never understood why people used it as a research tool even though we have such well equipped libraries. I now understand how easy and convenient it was for me to research where to purchase the Padma. I have also found other web-sites with interesting information and hope to soon experience eBay.

My web-site has been an extraordinary experience. As I write, I become completely unaware of my material surroundings. Not since I was a child and immersed myself in a Judy Blume novel or an interesting movie was I able to accomplish this. On the day that I entered the information on the events of the night of August 31, 1997, I originally limited myself to ten minutes on the computer and no such discussion. After I wrote for a long time, I noticed the computer shop's owner, at his desk by me where he always is, and asked him how long I was there. He said, "Two-and-a-half hours." I was amazed. And after another entry on a different day, I was handed what I thought was a high bill from this shop's cashier, and then looked at the clock to realize I was there for one-and-a-half hours. I work with no notes except an occasional list. I don't need any because the information repeated itself so-often in my mind as I attempted for so-long to understand all the issues surrounding me.

The entry on my web-site which I will remember this year by is my record of my realization that my former employers (i.e., those who believed that embezzlement is not illegal if one expects someone else will pay the money back) finally understand that the Constitution was enacted to prevent us from making fools of ourselves.

I have many goals for next year. And as I write this, I remember the day after the Thanksgiving Holiday when everyone thought that because I was finally recovering, I would abandon this web-site. I doubt that I will ever be able to stop talking.

Of course I am looking forward to a year of paychecks with smaller deductions and governments which deliver higher quality service.

And I am looking forward to a year in which political prisoners, hopefully, are freed. And I am looking forward to the prosperity these countries should experience as democratic liberties are directly connected to the issue of financial accomplishment. This should accomplish more than any Marshall Plan. Although I don't doubt that they may need some help from us.

There is one other goal which I presented a few years ago. It involves the issue of Princess Diana's most famous goals of the elimination of land mines which do not kill but rather dismember innocent civilians.

Instead of handling this politically, I suggested reactivation of research which was suspended a few decades ago. It was to find a technique to regenerate limbs. In simpler terms, just grow a new leg or arm, etc. I am unaware of the status of this research.

I also have a few goals for our schools.

As governmental finances are audited, and monies are made available for what these were intended, I would like to propose at least one official of the services of Child Protection (sometimes called Department of Family) in each school. I appreciate the fact that many teachers and administrators are well-trained at identifying the signs of child abuse, but I suspect that these officials are better equipped. And with the immediate presence of such people, such activity would be discouraged. I would also like to see these people take time to educate children and parents on all aspects of these issues. This should drive-up test scores, even if all they do is make the children feel properly protected.

As I make this proposal I think about my former friend in high school. It never occurred to me that her father was routinely beating her mother while she and her older sister were hiding in the closet downstairs. I did, however, see something mysterious in her older brother who had the incestuous relationship with her mother which gave rise to her youngest sister. I remember once having dinner with her, her older sister and this brother, while the rest of the family was away. Toward the end of the meal I excused myself from the table to uncontrollably throw-up. It was true that I had eaten too much, even though my system appropriately warned me with the mechanisms I was so-familiar with, but I believe something else went wrong. And these Child Protection officials would have understood what I saw in his eyes and lack of expression in his voice, but could not understand.

I would like to also propose a slight change in educational direction.

In the school I attended, over 80% of us went to college. The scholastic goal was to prepare us as well as possible for this. And I appreciated that and still do. But what no one predicted was that I might be thrown-out of my field for embracing all the wrong theories. I have had to earn a paycheck by working in customer service. Because I had no such specialty, I had to start at $6./hour rather than $10. I could only hope to become a manager. This, of course, never materialized.

I selected customer service because every time I applied for a job as a receptionist I found myself on a list with 30 other applicants and, of course, someone else always had exactly the right experience because they once worked in their parent's office.

Customer service jobs were easy to find because no one wants to stand on their feet all day. I didn't mind it and some of my co-workers could not tolerate a life of sitting-down all day. After I was fired from one job, I quickly made copies of my resume, and went to one supermarket only to learn that its manager was on vacation. And then I went to the next supermarket. The manager offered to call me on Monday but I asked, "Couldn't you just put me to work right away." He said he could.

I was out-of-work for two hours.

And it has always been nice to be appreciated. They are always desperate for help.

When I first re-entered the labor market in early 1994, it was as a stock clerk in another department store. I still had a publisher for my book. On my first day, I was furious that I had to take this ridiculous $6./hour job instead of a job in my field, and instead of being able to afford to stay home and write a second book. I assumed that would be a good investment.

Instead, as I found myself taking merchandise out of boxes and placed these on shelves, I realized that, hopefully, someday someone will do the same with my book. I was following the future trail of my book. And this was the only job I should have at that time.

I found it very frustrating that every time I placed any amount of objects on a shelf it looked terrible. Whereas whenever my manager did the same, it looked beautiful, even if it was of ugly objects. He didn't seem to mind my aesthetic inabilities because it was a liquidation sale. But I had a different opinion.

I took him aside and asked him, "Teach me to see the things which you see."

And he did. Although I could never catch-up with his many years of experience. And it was this learning experience which I applied to the design of my 24-foot train of my wedding dress.

But instead of starting as a $6./hour stock clerk with managerial aspirations which never materialized, I could have started at $10. or more if I had a customer service skill such as sewing or hardware. Or, if I came from a family of ski-bums, I could have acquired a job in a sporting goods store.

In middle school, I had one course in sewing from which I learned nothing. At the beginning we were told to buy a pattern. My mother told me to make one. There was no one, not even herself, who knew how and could help me.

Perhaps my mother wanted to teach me herself. My mother had sewing talents I can only attempt to equal. But the customer service issues of knowing the difference between silk organza and taffeta, as well as understanding for what circumstances one must use cotton/polyester rather than polyester thread, among other issues, were not within her realm.

If I had to do these educational years over, I would have had several such sewing courses including a few more after graduating college.

I did have ten years of piano lessons. I would have had less except for the fact that my mother never accepted that it just wasn't working-out. The lessons never focused on a future in customer service. And if everyone had realized that I could never become the concert pianist my mother dreamed of, I might have made this my customer service specialty.

My life as a customer service associate who is exiled from her professional field was my plot in my script. It must have worked or I would not have had so much trouble.

I would like to make another educational proposal.

I would like to ask of companies who make board games for children to focus on educational issues.

For example, I would like such games to educate on legal terminologies such as the words witness, hear-say, Constitution, etc. I would like these to be on various levels. I would like games for other fields such as accounting, medicine, etc. Many children find themselves in adult situations such as having to testify at trial, observe the management of inherited money, and experience medicinal problems such as a sports injury. They will likely have to learn this material anyway, at least this way they might not enter the situation confused and depressed.

Of course, this is also a time of the year in which I also remember my ancestors and all they taught me. The most frightening story my grandfather would not tell me directly, and it was the only medical malpractice story he ever told my mother. It was the least horrific.

In the 1950's, my grandfather had a colleague who told him that after he finished medical school, he was sent his first patient by the chief surgeon of the hospital at which he served. It was a boy who needed a hernia operation. This new surgeon examined the child and later telephoned the chief surgeon telling him he had no such condition and needed no such surgery. He was told that if he did not perform the surgery, he would not receive any more patients.

And for all of you who are experiencing your first Holiday Season without a loved one, I know very well what that is like. But as the actions of our army of non-violent, non-abusive, innovative Aquatic Apes proves, the 3,000 victims of the events of September 11th did not die in vain.

We have a lot of work to do. I hope we will conclude next year with a new world.

And then we will move-on to our next goals. Aquatic Apes never finish evolving.

Wednesday, December 26, 2001

I have much interesting news. Christmas, for all it represents, has proven to be a day of renewal of hope.

Before proceeding any further, a message from one of my customers of The Vitamin Shoppe is long overdue. I was once told by a customer that he had an illness for years which cost him thousands of dollars. I forgot the name of it but understand that its symptom is burning sensation in the feet. He asked of me to tell other customers with this condition that the treatment is Alpha Lipoic Acid. I wonder if it is a coincidence that this supplement, normally used by diabetics, made my neurological condition worse.

As I stated earlier, the chiropractor told me that my neck is fine. But I failed to elaborate. In the morning sessions it required corrections, in the afternoon it did not.

But on Monday morning it only required one rather than the usual two adjustments.

All of my life my hearing and sense of smell have been below average, while always remaining in the range of normal. As a child, I could not play telephone with the other children in school.

Yesterday I noticed an astonishing improvement in both exteroceptive qualities.

I believe that my neck condition is also linked to my digestive issues. I noticed a pattern in that this condition's improvement has been parallel to that of my neck progression. I suspect this is because the digestive processes begin there.

I also stated earlier in this web-site that my pelvis was declared normal. It has been an extremely rare event that the chiropractor has had to adjust it again. And it was immediately after she first made this declaration that my digestion improved.

The recent sneaker-terrorism incident has provided us with much needed information, as well as many questions which must be answered.

The French government immediately knew his real identity.

How did they know that so-quickly?

I now know that Osama Ben Laden has a strong following in Belgium. But it has always been my understanding that when the German army marched over this country into France, it was neutral.

How long has this following existed?

Three o